MAD MEN (2007 — present) is a television show set in the 1960's about the inner workings at an advertising agency.
12/01/09 | Television

Mad Men

by Dan Moreau

It’s Wednesday night. After a long day at the office, you pull into your driveway. The moment is perfect. You can smell June’s succulent meatloaf cooking in the oven.

Walking up to the kitchen, you spy June and another man through the window naked on the floor. He’s the salesman from whom you bought the air-conditioner for your upstairs bedroom. You gave him your business and this is how he repays you? But what bothers you most is the look of ecstasy on June’s face.

You return to your car and retrieve the gun from the glove compartment. Two quick shots are all it takes to silence them. Their stiff bodies cling to each other in a permanent embrace. Blood pools on the kitchen floor.

You bury your face in your hands. It’s beginning to dawn on you now. You’ve killed your own wife and another man in cold blood.

Get a grip, you tell yourself. The police will be here shortly. You need to act fast. There’s blood on the floor. No paper towel or mop will do. No, you need something else. Something more absorbent. Something more durable. You need the ShamWow.

When the police arrive, the kitchen floor is clean enough to eat off. You’re sitting back with a Tom Collins, impeccably dressed and coiffed, ready with your alibi.

The ShamWow. You’ll say wow every time.